I'm So Sick

So I'm sitting in my room wondering whether I'm bored or I'm lonely. If I'm lonely at all then it's really not that bad because I've got friends, the whole deal. I there's a few people I miss and wish I saw more often, but I'm pretty sure this is just a cover for my boredom.

It's a pretty severe boredom. A boredom that goes past just my present circumstances. I'm finding it to be a boredom with life at the moment. I'm not excited about anything. Nothing's happening that's interesting. Like really nothing.
I don't even have inspiration for art.

Yuck! My life is currently stagnant! I think if I could do anything right now I go explore some underground tunnels and maybe make a home there. That'd be fun but completely unrealistic. I'm going to tell you that it is never a good thing to be bored like this and I'm absolutely sick of it. It's like all purpose has been drained.

And that's another thing. Everyone's talking about where they want to go after high school it seems. I still don't know. Sometimes it would be nice not to be so clueless, even though I think that if I had my whole life planned out and I knew exactly what I wanted to do it'd be, once again, boring.

I want to get excited about God again and soon. Everything seems dry right now, and that's not the way it's supposed to be. I've written about my Bible study recently and no matter how I feel about it, I miss my girls' group from the past two years and I can't wait for it to get started up again.

Here's something sad, I can't tell you for sure the last time I've prayed one on one with someone, just simply like the that. The canoe trip maybe? That sucks. That's one of the things I love most and it just doesn't happen as much as it really needs to happen. Isn't prayer supposed to be one of the foundations of the church?

*sigh* If you have a hotmail account than you'll know that one of the only sites they advertise is www.monster.ca. I was just checking my email and one of their many ads popped up, and it was the one that says "It's 9:12:10PM Do you know where your career is?" Well that reminds me of another question that I get asked far too often. "How's school?" Not exactly the same phrasing, I know, but it's kind of a lame question to ask. I don't really care that much about school, and probably a lot of other people feel the same way. Why don't more people ask "It's 9:15:58PM Do you know where your faith is?" HUH??!! Why not?

I'm so sick of the way things are! I want to get out of this valley as soon as possible! Let's rise up a people that live radically different! Where is the community I'm dreaming of? ...AHH!

That's all. ughhh

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